walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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