Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
