Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
