Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
