the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
