Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
