I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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