i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
