Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
