evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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