Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
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