Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
