all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
