just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
