I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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