But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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