sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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