At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
