Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
