You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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