On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
