Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
