they need to just BURY HIM!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
