you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
