I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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