this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
