Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
