he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
