hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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