Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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