is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The adults are the big ones right?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
