Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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