Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
foreskin is a definite game changer
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
