so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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