sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize