its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you will always have a special place in my vag
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize