hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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