The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize