I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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