Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
