I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
