Moan for me like Helen Keller
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
