D3 body, D1 cock
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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