yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
