At least make sure they are 18
Why
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
