He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
