the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
vagina is talking i cant
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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