I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
