Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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