Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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