Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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