found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
