it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
