Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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