Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
