OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I FOUND THE LEGS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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