names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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