I should be sponsored by Trojan
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
