my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
