Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
