so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
