Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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