piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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