oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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