just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
