"it" just moved
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
