I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
