This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
