...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
PANTIES FOUND
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