I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I would fuck him just for his dog
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
