This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize