I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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