Kiss
Puke
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
