Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
